Running and crying

I went running on my own yesterday – doesn’t happen very often these days but I had to run yesterday so I went out.

And whilst I was running a friend phoned me.  Her husband died of brain cancer last year – he held on for a year and he suffered tremendously and she looked after him until the end.  In a sense I’m so jealous of her – she has lost her husband but everything else is the same.  Her memories of their time together, the promises made, her financial position etc etc.  My memories are tainted with cruel words and statements of years and years of unhappiness, promises made were broken and I can go on and on about how her situation is actually better than mine from my very subjective point of view.

Anyway – so we spoke whilst I was running and after I said goodbye – I broke down and started to cry – but that ugly crying with tears, and hiccups and snot and wailing.  But I kept running.  And I allowed myself 100 meters in every 1 kilometer to have an ugly cry…  What a sight it must have been but by the time I got to 12 km’s I was back under control.  Not completely fine but at least the crying has stopped.

So it seems although with the right triggers it is possible to run and cry after all.

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4 Responses to Running and crying

  1. halberts2014 says:

    Time to make new memories. Memories with kind words and loving hugs.

  2. charliesbird says:

    I haven’t mastered that yet – Can’t breath and cry, so can’t run – you’re way too fit!
    But I hear you, horrible to have something that was good dissolve into something filled with sadness and horrible tastes in your mouth. Hang in there – you are so much more than what he tried to reduce you to.

  3. MamaCat says:

    RM, it will take a long time to feel better, it has been 20 years.

  4. Deblet says:

    I can just imagine the people driving passed you all wondering what the heck was going on.
    New memories will come and they will be awesome and filled with love

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