Quick update

Sorry I know – I’ve been exceptionally quiet but there is just sooooooo much going on that I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

So where to start?

OK – the good news – I ran another personal best on Tuesday on a 21km – once again I was with running husband Andy and he pushed me and almost killed me in the process but afterwards I was very happy and I could say that I’ve done another PB on a 21!!  I do have to wonder why now all of a sudden I run so well.

The house that I’ve been living in for 10 years has been sold – I was so happy about it because it is an emotional, physical and financial drain on me.  And now – well the bloody buyer is trying his utmost to get out of buying the house – so guess what – the house is going back on the market!!  So now I have to hide the dirty dishes in the oven etc etc to make the house look presentable.  Luckily the garden and pool is looking good.

And then my poor child was teased yesterday because her mommy and daddy is getting divorced.  I felt so so terrible and what made me feel even worse is that she didn’t tell me – the mom of the bully phoned me in tears to apologise – Zoe told the mom and not me.  It just feels although Zoe is compartmentalising her life at the moment and she doesn’t tell me anything that she thinks will upset me.  And this is one of the biggest reasons why I would’ve stayed in this marriage forever because I absolutely believe that a child is just better off with both parents and my happiness is way way way less important than her security and safety.

The poor child is losing so much and has lost so much.  Sometimes the guilt of it eats me alive – and my heart breaks for her.

The divorce – still hanging – heaven knows when this will be finalised…

I’ve never had to deal with so many different lawyers and documentation in my life!!!

And me – I’m not crying anymore – purely because I really think there is no more tears left.  I do get a dull ache in my chest every now and again but the tears has dried up.  I’m absolutely convinced that I’m in survival mode at the moment – I have to get things done and I have to keep going – what will happen once all the turmoil is over and I’m in calmer waters? I really hope that I don’t crash and burn then.

Have a wonderful weekend – running another 21 with crazy running husband Andy on Sunday – but I have to take it easy – an ultra of 48km’s is waiting for me on Saturday.

 

 

 

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4 Responses to Quick update

  1. halberts2014 says:

    Man, your house is fine. It’ll get sorted. Wonder why the buyer wants out.
    Big ups to Zoe on telling the Bully’s Mum. At least she told someone. And I don’t blame her for not telling you, she is trying to protect you. She’s so mature, she’s sorting things out, but like I said, I’m very proud of her for tackling this head on. Kids can be so cruel. Just yesterday Liam was teased because he made his cricket team come last on the runs because he’s the slowest and fattest.
    I don’t think that staying in an unhappy marriage would’ve made things any easier on Zoe. Kids pick up on more than we know and I’m sure she would rather and 2 separate, reasonably happy parents than 2 that are together and constantly at war. I’m sure you will agree. They don’t need that constant tension in their lives.
    Hmm, I suppose “Crazy Running Husband Andy” is taken? 🙂
    Have a good weekend RM. Let’s do this thing ! !

  2. catjuggles says:

    I think Zoe is so very brave for telling the other mom – it shows great confidence. I hope all will sort itself out soon and yeah on the running!

  3. charliesbird says:

    Just keep running, running, running…
    You’re doing so well.

  4. Deblet says:

    House will get sold to the right person .
    Zoe is just doing her bit to help you.Kids can be so damn nasty to one another good for her for telling the Mom.
    Good luck with all the running sounds like that’s going really well.

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