OK this will no be my third try to get this blog out. I’m really not having a good day, actually one of those days that I want to get in my car until I run out of petrol in some kind of idillyc little town, where I’ll be completely self sustainable in an old stone house that I bought with money I miraculously inherited from an aunt that I didn’t know about! Anyway back to reality, with the amount of petrol I currently have in my car I won’t even be able to reach my messy house with all the renovations going on.
I actually want to write about small hearts. In Afrikaans a small heart (klein hartjie) means that you cry about anything and everything.
I always used to look in disdain at my mom and her friends that could cry about the silliest things in the world. Goodness they cried at prize giving at school or a school play. I don’t even want to discuss Hubby’s mother because she cries when we leave the house to go and buy take-aways. I still think she is a bit over the top but I do have more sympathy for the other women that just cried because I have now discovered that I’m just as bad. For the past almost 5 years everything and anything makes me cry.
I cry when a nice song play on the radio, I cry when I run and people say well done, I cry about beatuy, I cry about injustice, Sumanda’s blog makes me cry, I cry when Zoe tells me she loves me, I cry about TV adds, I cry about a friend who can’t afford to get her hair straightened with a Brazilian blow out and the list can go on and on and on.
However I still have to keep my street credas a tough strong chick and therefore I’m forever blaming make-up, hayfever, dust in my eyes etc for the wet teary eyes. Strange that I always get dust in both eyes and that I get hayfever regardless of the season or the location.
I wonder if it has something to do with my heart now residing outside my body, held in the hands of a very precious little 4 year old. She has the power to crush my heart with the slightest look or word. It hurts to have your heart outside your body and that is why I’m forever crying about something.