When kindness backfires

We’ve spend this weekend in Kaapse Hoop – running and just shooting the breeze with friends. It was fantastic – the marathon went well and I ran a good race – easy and slow and my legs are just a tiny bit sore today. I think my stomach muscles feel worse than my legs because of all the laughing. Goodness I’m still giggling about some of the things we said and did. We were also very priviliged to drive around in the forests there and we did see some absolutely stuning scenery, we do have a beautiful country.

However this post is not about the good times but about how one person can spoil things for so many others.

About 3 months ago I was introduced to a newby on the running scene. Since most people know I don’t mind running with the newbies, they told him he can stick to me. Well I must be honest, I did think that this guy has a very akward personality but I bit my tongue and ran with him. I had a good giggle at his expense the whole time because he was just so stupid and so full of himself. However what I did not realise was that he was listening in on my conversations with the other runners and before I knew it he had invited himself to our Kaapse Hoop weekend.

I really didn’t want him there but I thought that we are a big enough crowd to kind of dilute his akward personality and I did feel kind of sorry for this guy because I could see that he was very lonely and oh so akward. I pitied him even more when I heard about his horrible childhood.

And then I agreed that he can run with me during Saturday’s marathon.

Friday night was uneventful because we all had to get to bed early to get up at 4 the next morning.

So here I was at the start of the marathon with this akward newby stuck to my hip almost. And the fun started – funny how a person’s real personality comes out when they are tired. He had no consideration for fellow runners. My poor ankle were the recipient of numerous water spits from him. He swore at the water table volunteers if they didn’t give him water quickly enough, he swore at the road when there was an uphill and he swore at the suntanlotion when he sprayed it into his own eyes. Just a generally nasty character. However I promised I’ll get him through this marathon and I like to keep my promises.

However when we had 6 kilometers left to go I had to leave him because there was a really real threat that we would miss cut off. And then I realised what a draining effect this character had on me because the moment I left him I felt lighter and I ran easier and I was happier and I finished within 10 minutes of the cut-off, looking happy and relaxed and like my mom said although I didn’t run at all.

However this was not the end of the saga. The character stopped to buy himself a bottle of tequila after the marathon and he then proceeded to try and finish the bottle by himself. And then he was even worse than on the road – farting, burping, eating like a pig, insulting people, telling them he is better than them just because he has a degree and is a lawyer and trying to throw beer over the cat sleeping on a chair etc etc. I told him numerous times to just leave us all alone and go to bed but he was adamant that he is going to stay up with all of us. In the end we all went to bed to get away from this character.

How terrible to worm yourself into a group of people and then to act like this. I really really think that it is going to take me a while to trust people again and I really do not think that I’m going to spend so much time and effort to help people on the road anymore if that is how I get repaid.

How I’m going to react to this guy when I see him again, as it is bound to happen because he wants to run Comrades next year is an open question. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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4 Responses to When kindness backfires

  1. Helen_77 says:

    Soooooo not cool

  2. deblet says:

    True character comes through…sjoe….time to move on and away from personalities that drain and are a negative influence

  3. Sarchasm says:

    Glad your body didn’t take as much of a pounding as it usually does. Don’t sink to his level. Cold shoulder works wonders.

  4. Squidsquirt says:

    Oh dear- sounds like your good nature came back to bite you. Politely say that you prefer to run on your own, I reckon..

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