Last night in bed with Zoe’s warm little body snuggled up against me, the dog snoring and farting next to the bed and the cat grooming on the bed, I had this lightening thought – “How did this happen?”
And this really got the wheels in my brain going and insomnia was quickly settling in.
How did it happen that I’m living the white picket fence life. OK let’s be honest in SA it is more the 6 foot wall with electric fencing on top life but I’m sure you know what I mean.
I always had this image of myself as a bohemian pschycologist living in Melville travelling the world and my only responsibility a white flat nosed Persian cat with grey pointers. I even had the house I would live in, in Melville chosen. My only exercise would’ve been Thai Chi and yoga.
And now? Now I’m living in the suburb that I grew up in. I have a house, a husband, a child, a cat, a dog and lots of responsibilities. And I’m an accountant and I run!
And then the next thought was – would I change my life to my imagined life? And the answer is a resounding NO! No because it will mean that there is no Zoe in my life. No Zoe to giggle and laugh and play. No Zoe that cuddles with me in the evenings in front of the TV.
So our dreams are not always best. Reality and the way it turns out may be way way way better. And then I slept soundly till this morning with the dog crying to go out, the cat hissing at the dog and Zoe whining for yogurt and I still loved it.