OK before I start on this mother post. Let me just share my latest addiction – those marshmallow eggs in the Barbie wrappers from Woolworths. Goodness I can’t stop eating it, I can easily eat all four of them. And now Woolworhts has a special where you get a 500ml milk with every 2l you buy. So here I am munching on my Barbie marshmallow eggs with sips of milk in between – might I add that I’ve made the milk more interesting with a few healthy spoons of pink Nesquick?
And then onto something that has been bugging me now for ages. And that is women that call themselves moms, mothers etc but their actions are so completely the opposite.
I really think that women with children can be categorised in the following categories:
1. Women who think they want kids and will do anything to have kids and once the kids are there and reality strikes they can’t wait to get rid of the children.
2. Women who think they are not very maternal and do not really want to have kids and then nature intervenes or they decided to have kids anyway and then they love those kids to absolute distraction.
3. Women who wants kids since they were little kids and then they then turn into the most amazing wonderful attentive mothers.
4. Women who so badly want a child but can’t have a child for various reasons and then turn their mothering skills onto other kids.
I’m one of the women who did not want to have a child. Life intevened and I fell pregnant with Zoe. I really really thought that I would be one of those icy cold mothers that can’t wait to send their child to boarding school the moment it is legal to do so. Well I was in for the surprise of my life – I love Zoe more than anything and the mere idea of her going to university is enough to reduce me to a quavering wreck and she is only 4 years old now!! I don’t think I’m an exceptionally good mother but I’ll do absolutely anything for Zoe to ensure that she is safe, healthy, happy and secure.
And now the story about the girl that has been bothering me now for ages.
She had an abortion, then she had a little girl, then a miscarriage and then another little girl. The girls are now 5 and 2. She has moved out of the house she shares with her common law husband. And she fought tooth and nail to prevent him from taking “her girls” away from her just when she moved out. Now 6 months later she does not want the kids anymore and she is giving the kids to him with no plans to actually see them on a regular basis. He had to bribe her by saying he’ll pay for her medical aid and her car insurance just to ensure that she spend some time with her kids. How can you fight so hard and have so many pregnancies just to give those kids away when the hard work starts. I honestly believe that raising a toddler is much harder work than raising a baby. What about the damage to those kids – they are going to grow up feeling they were not good enough for their mother. The scars and actions now will form the rest of their lives.
And then the pensioner mother who refuses to drive to shopping centre less than 25 kilometers away from her house to see her grown child she has not seen for 6 months. The child can’t get to her due to transport problems but the mother has a perfectly good car and is more than able to drive. How can she be so cold and callous?
The people across the road from us has the classical mine, yours and now also an ours type of family. The kids are not allowed to go to school because their hair is crawling with lice and they don’t do anything about it but then they proceed to have another baby.
And then the girl who would do antyhing for a child and just can’t fall pregnant.
How can you say life is fair when some people actually discard their kids when they are not cute little babies anymore and other people would give up everything to have the honor to hold their own child.
And the victims in all of these scenarios? Always the kids – it does not matter if they are adults, teenagers, toddlers or babies. What is happening to us as humans when we can’t look after the kids anymore?