I really really thought my heart is going to break today when I left Zoe at school. Today she is going on her first outing with her school. They are going to the Johannesburg zoo and when we got to school the busses were already waiting there.
People always say that once you have a child your heart is outside your body and I completely agree with that but today my heart is going to the zoo and all I can envision is all the old men with their dingy dirty coats on waiting to pounch on an innocent child. Yes I know I allow my imagination to run away with me.
Then I read Growing pains post about her baby that died and she is just so matter of fact about it and that ripped me to pieces even more because I know she is so matter of fact about it because it is the only way she can cope with her loss.
And then my boss walked into my office apologising for the fall out we had yesterday. Ohh I forgot to talk about that. Well I completely lost it yesterday and told him exactly how I feel about where the company is going to etc etc.
For my boss to come and apologise is a big big thing because he just does not do it and that was the end of me.
I just started to bawl my eyes out. It does not help that I’m completely and utterly stressed out about Comrades and I know it is too late to do anything about my fitness now .
So all in all I’m a complete and utter mess today. Let’s hope the day gets better.