OK just a quick update on the movement campaign:
Monday: 3km’s on the treadmill and a then some gym work
Tuesday: 13km’s through rain and thunder and lighting – a bit scary I must admit.
Whilst running yesterday I realised that my blog is not really about begin a mom but just being a runner. It is a bit sad that I’m taking the thing that is most important in my life for granted.
Zoe is just always there and most of the times she is a cheerfull happy little thing. So much so that I do not always realise that she is just always content to fall in with my plans and my life.
However I did not ever realise what a gigantic change that little being will have on my outlook in life but also on my perspectives and my selfishness.
Loving a child especially when they are babies must be the most selfless thing anybody can every do. You care for that tiny being 24/7 and there are not really any rewards. True they do smile at you and hold out their little arms but that is just because you are their only reality but somehow it does not matter, you will do anything and everything for that tiny being.
Then they start to grow up and all of a sudden they do not need you as much in a physical sense but the need for the emotional stability is bigger but also they joy of talking to them and listening and seeing the world from the perspective of a three year old or a four year old. I find it amazing how she thinks about things and how she makes sense of the world around her.
The lessons learned from her is absolutely amazing. I briefly touched on the subject of forgiveness. How I can shout and scream at her but she would’ve forgiven and forgotten about the incident within moments and we would be back to our old loving relationship.
To have such an incredible joy in life and to find something to be happy about in the slightest thing is also something that we should really try and adopt as adults. We were in the car the other day and she could not say a word – it turned into a whole lark with her laughing her head off because of the words she could not say and me trying to find more and more diffcult words for her to say. That silly mad laughter in the car will always stay with me because it was such a wonderful moment.
There are so many such wonderful moments with a child and I sometimes wish we can somehow remember it all but it does tend to dissapear in the daily life.
And that is why I’m going to try and remember more of those lovely silly mad moments for at least a day so I can have the opportunity to post it on this blog and one day Zoe can read it and see what has made her the person she is.