Maybe I’m really really ready for the loony bin and the padded cell and the sleeveless jacket but I really have such an incredible sense of the different me’s in my head. I vaguely remember something in Pshcyology I at university talking about the different layers of the personality and maybe this is the same – I can remember that one of the layers’ name was Id – the others has long since dissapeared into the fog.
So here are my companions in my mind:
1. She resides in my frontal lobes right behind my forehead. Her name is Performing Monkey – she is mostly the dominant personality and is the one that drives what I do and say. Her name is Performing Monkey because sometimes the others feel that she is doing everything that she feels society and people around her is expecting of her. She is always trying to tick all the boxes and get everything done in the best of her ability. My huband calls her the library prefect! 🙂
2. This one resides right at the top of my head – the highest point in my body. For this blog I’ll call her the Queen Bee but I would actually like to call her the other B word! She sits on her perch and critise everything poor old Performing Monkey is doing. She is always laughing at her for trying so hard and is always ready with a sharp comment – but never during the event but only afterwards. She is also the one that can dwell on things for ever and ever. This is also a very anger Queen Bee.
3. The analytical observer. This one lives right in the middle of my brain – it does not have a name but is always looking at the performance of the other three and is always making comments about it. Normally very rational and in control and normally very right in what it is observing.
4. And finally – my Holy Ghost because I really believe that it is the voice of God speaking to me. This one lives right at the back of my brain – about where my vertebrae meets my brain. This is my moral compass. This is what will tell me what is right and wrong and will scold me when I do wrong or will tell me what to do in a difficult situation.
Unfortunately the Performing Monkey and the Queen Bee is very hard headed and they do not listen to the Holy Ghost all the time. However I’m sure if I can give in and listen more my life will be much easier.
Sometimes I wonder what will happen if I give Queen Bee the controls and move Performing Monkey to the top spot and ask the Holy Ghost to keep quiet for a while. Goodness that may be interesting but also very damaging.
Then just on a more physical level. I did damage a muscle in my thigh – not a very big muscle but one that is quite crucial to running. I have to stretch and ice it and if there is no pain by tomorrow morning I can do all the runs I’ve planned to do. Hooray!
I also thing that this week off the road has been a good thing – I’m hungry to run again and I’ve lost the hunger a little bit because of all the pressure to do lots of kilometers.