The more I experience siblings in the form of my own and hearing stories from other people the more I think that to raise Zoe as a single child is not such a bad thing.  Sure she is going to be a bit lonely at home whilst a toddler and sure I’ll have to play with her a bit more but that is only while she is a toddler and that is anyway why God created friends.  I know of very very few people who are actually friends or even in contact with their siblings once they are grown ups.

My brother has always been a taker.  He takes from everybody and expects that his friendship or his mere presence should be enough in return.  One of my earliest memories of him in this taker mode was when my mom was at the hairdresser.  The hairdresser gave him some money to go and buy sweets and here was the other little kid (me) standing there like a fool.  If the roles were reversed I would’ve offered to share but not him – he went and bought sweets and chomped everything without a thought.

And the trend continues now when he is a grown up.  He has cost my mom hundreds of thousands of rands and he does not show an inch of gratitude or does not even acknowledge that he has been given an enormous gift.  He just sees it as his rightful way.  I do not know how he can justify it in his head but maybe he does not think about it because it his due?  What makes me the angriest about this is that he does not give my mom anything in return.  I’m not talking about money, I talking about love and respect and most of all time.

He has now gone and done something that is going to cost me thousands of rands and that has destroyed something that I have been looking forward to for the whole year and has planned for a whole year.  My mom is just so grateful for the little crumbs of affection that he is showing now but he is only doing it because it suits him and will save him money.

How do I blame my mom – I’m sure when Zoe is a grown up and treats me the way my brother treats my mother I would also bend over backwards for any crumbs of her time and affection.

Both myself and my mom are extremely non-confrontational people.  This whole issue has been the biggest disagreement we had in years and I’m sure that she is also at home and awake in the early hours of the morning being really upset about this.  I was so angry last night after my mom told me the news that the thought of it just made me want to cry so I could not even discuss it in a rational way.

What do I do?  I’m tired of seeing the effects of my brother’s actions on other peoples lives, my life included. 

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