And yesterday I was a very bad mommy as well. I was busy reading a book and it was just so gripping and I really just wanted to finish it and Zoe was bugging me with all types of requests. So in the end I did finish the book but only after I shouted at her a few times. Now I’m burdened with guilt again! Ohh man
Now being a softie. Obviously after I finished the book I had to crack open the new one that was waiting for me. This happened after I had Zoe all settled with her Barbies and their swimming pool and I took the opportunity to quickly jump in the bath after a very hard run on time trail.
Well as I openend the book I started to read the biography of the author and that had me in tears. He submitted the three manuscripts to his editor and shortly died after this. He never saw his books in print or knew what a success his books were. AND he was only 50 years old when he died. This poor man – these books are quite hefty volumes so I assumed he spend a lot of his life on writing them and then he just died. Life can be so cruel.
Apart from that I have realised once again that my self esteem and self confidence sucks and that I’m the only one who can do something about it. Nobody on the outside can make me like myself. They can try and undermine me and make me feel worthless but I’m the only one who can allow them to make me feel like this. So my motto from now on: “I’m good enough” and if somebody try to pull me down it will be like water from a duck’s back. I really hope I can stick to this because I want to set the correct example for my daughter and this little grey mouse that runs at the slightest indication of conflict and just bend over backwards to please is not the example I want to set for Zoe. I want her to be strong and independant and above all to love herself, now and when she is a grown-up.